Friday, January 11, 2013

Expectations and Promises

image from here

I slept through the New Year because I was sick with the worse cold I have ever had. I actually never get colds so this was a new one for me. And it really was the worst timing ever as I was struggling to get papers graded and papers written. I had this expectation for what my break from school was going to be like. And it really hasn’t been any of that. It hasn’t been bad, but just different. And I don’t to different too well.

Particularly, I had an idea what the New Year was going to be like. I planned to spend the night before doing a little cleaning and organizing, contemplating this past year and evaluating some things. I wanted to pray and seek after the Lord for His guidance in the New Year. I expected to be able to sit down and plan out things like I always do. Yet, as the case often is, life happens. Expectations weren’t met. I was sick and slept the whole day. I felt unorganized and unprepared. I felt like I wasn’t ready for a new year, a new semester. It was all coming too fast and my life was too much of a mess.

But then I reflected (I do a lot of reflecting if you can’t tell) on how much my expectations pale in comparison to God’s promises. Scripture is full of promises for me. That He has plans to help me, that He knows me intimately, and that He has prepared good works for me to do. He will be my rest and He will supply my needs. He has given me hope and blessed me with mercy. Then there have been personal promises spoken directly to my heart. They are just amazing and wonderful and I chose to believe them, even when I don’t see how it could possibly work. Because lots of times, I have expectations because I am trying to do things on my own and control things. I want things to be a particular way because that is comfortable to me. I want my life to go the way I planned. Some times those expectations aren’t met and I need to continuously surrender that to God. Once again, I need to realize that it isn’t about me, it is about Him.

Ultimately, when I focus more on Him, I will cling more to His promises and less on my faulty expectations. And His promises are always better. They just are.

And you know what? Once I let go of the anxiety of not having my New Year’s planning session, I got a chance to do it after all. And I was able to approach it with more wisdom and discernment in evaluating what the Lord has me to do in 2013.

He just blows me away sometimes. Or really, all the time.