Getting to the GIST of Things

This weekend, I am “baby-sitting” a 14 year old friend of the family. Basically, it involves making sure he eats dinner and taking him to the movies. Last night, he and a friend wanted to go see Avenue Q, the School Edition because some of their friends were in it. Now, I had a lot of homework to do but figured it would be nice to have a little bit of the break. Near the end of the show, some of the characters were reflecting on the harsh realities of everyday life. They started singing a song about how nice college was and it made me laugh because it was so true! 

Lately I have been thinking about how it will be 4 years in May since I graduated college. I will have been out of college as long as I was in it. That's totally crazy to me. For the first year after I graduated, my friends and I talked all the time about college, but as we have grown older we have learned to appreciate where are now while continuing to appreciate the great times we had then. 

The last 4 years have been crazy. I graduated college, my Dad moved to Arizona, my parents announced they were divorcing, I spent a year on staff with Chi Alpha with one dollar to my name, I moved across the country, started graduate school, almost quit graduate school, nursed my Dad through Cancer recovery, worked a full time corporate job and as a part time Michaels employee. I fell in love with Greek and lived through a couple Phoenix summers. My sister had a baby, moved back to Wisconsin and got married. Now she is pregnant with her second. My other sister moved to Washington.  I became a TA and a pioneer in school. I learned how to put coolant in my car. I flew across the country visiting friends. I made new friends and grew apart from others. 

Most importantly, I grew to love the Lord will all my heart and in new ways that I never thought possible. 

So no, as much as I miss being 21 and a little more carefree, I do not wish I was back in college. As much pain as the last 4 years have brought, they have also brought profound joy and growth. I think I have previously mentioned that my word of the year is HONOR. And I think I honor God most strongly when I don't pine for past seasons, but use what those past seasons have taught me to walk fully in obedience to what He has for me in this season. 

It is actually amusing to see the things that haven't changed in terms of what is keeping me from God. In my goal to be more intentional this year, I have been evaluating and cutting and having huge realizations. This one about college is just one of so many things I am learning from. I look forward to sharing more of what the Lord is showing me in the future. 

Pray for us, for we are sure that we have a clear conscience, desiring to act honorably in all things.

--Hebrews 13:11

In determining that I wanted my Word of the Year to be Honor, I have been reflecting on the ways that I have not been honoring the Lord. One of the clearest ways that I have not been honoring Him is through how I spend my time. TV, Internet, my phone…. So many things have been clouding up my life; separating me from Him and from the community that I have been increasingly desperate for.

Last week I deleted the Facebook and Twitters Apps off my phone. I was tired of mindlessly checking my phone, by being consumed by it. Now, of course, I can still access facebook on my phone but when I have to take the time to type it into the browser, I am able to stop myself from wasting time. I have yet to check facebook on my phone and suddenly I have all this time! Between this detaching of social media and a severe reduction in TV time combined with a totally purge of my stuff, I have found that I am calmer and more focused. I am more attuned to the variety of ways that God is working in my life. I have more time to actually have conversations with friends.

I am walking with intentionality. As such, I am increasingly aware of my eternal significance.

I have written a lot lately about my reflections on how I occasionally feel about my walk with the Lord and the struggles I have with it. In so many ways, my walk with the Lord and my role in the kingdom have been obscured by unnecessary things of this world.

And I am sick of it. I am sick of not having a closer relationship with the Lord. I am sick on not feeling absolute honor at God’s plan for my life. I am sick of not walking in obedience. I am sick of not being aware of my eternal significance.

So I deleted Facebook off my phone. I might even delete it all together. Pinterest might have to go too; it is too easy to start comparing my house and my crafts and all these things I need to do and make. I need to be practical about season of life and what I am capable of doing. Without guilt, but with joy and thankfulness.

Aware of the eternal significance of my life. Desiring to Honor Him in everything I do.  

 During the days surrounding Christmas, I spent a lot of time in reflection about the incarnation and the atonement.

As I looked at Christmas lights, I thought of John’s prologue. As I looked at the angel figurines I collect, I thought of Mary’s obedience in the face of adversity. And then, while riding in a car, I looked up into the night sky and was struck by the beauty of the stars. It made me think of the Three Wiseman and their long journey, guided by a magnificent star.

Matthew 2:1-12 The Visit of the Wise Men

1 Now after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold, wise men from the east came to Jerusalem, 2 saying, “Where is he who has been born king of the Jews? For we saw his star when it rose and have come to worship him.” 3 When Herod the king heard this, he was troubled, and all Jerusalem with him; 4 and assembling all the chief priests and scribes of the people, he inquired of them where the Christ was to be born. 5 They told him, “In Bethlehem of Judea, for so it is written by the prophet: 6 “‘And you, O Bethlehem, in the land of Judah,
 are by no means least among the rulers of Judah;
for from you shall come a ruler
 who will shepherd my people Israel.’”7 Then Herod summoned the wise men secretly and ascertained from them what time the star had appeared. 8 And he sent them to Bethlehem, saying, “Go and search diligently for the child, and when you have found him, bring me word, that I too may come and worship him.” 9 After listening to the king, they went on their way. And behold, the star that they had seen when it rose went before them until it came to rest over the place where the child was. 10 When they saw the star, they rejoiced exceedingly with great joy. 11 And going into the house they saw the child with Mary his mother, and they fell down and worshiped him. Then, opening their treasures, they offered him gifts, gold and frankincense and myrrh. 12 And being warned in a dream not to return to Herod, they departed to their own country by another way. 

For some reason the idea of the magi coming from the East, guided simply by a star really caught my heart this year. I thought about the absolute certainty that they must have felt to travel that far; the absolute certainty that they were part of a momentous part of history; the absolute honor they bore him by bringing the newborn king such extravagant gifts. I was just blown away by the significance of that moments and what an honor to be a part of it.

Then I had a thought. Yes, Jesus’s birth and even His death are monumentally significant! But they were part of God’s salvation plan; His plan to draw us near to Him and allow Jesus’ death to allow us to stand righteous before Him. It is because of these significant events that I can have assurance of my eternal life. As such, I get to be part of something truly amazing; the unfolding salvation plan in my world and in my own life.

I pondered about whether I had that same sense of wonder and awe when I consider my unique role in history and God’s plan. The honor is two-fold really; firstly, that Jesus would come to die for me, to give up His own sinless life in my place. Secondly, as an extension of that, that I have eternal life and a role in the kingdom. Too often, I think, I am preoccupied with how difficult I feel like God’s plan for my life is or how much I have to give up that I forget the absolute honor of being adopted into His family, to have a calling on my life.

As this is being posted, it is the last day of 2012. As I pray about what God would have me do; what He would have me pray; what He would have me learn, this lesson is at the forefront of my mind.

That I would continue to make it less about me and more about Him; that I would revel in the absolute significance of this moment, each moment of my life. That I would appreciate each season the Lord has me in; that I would appreciate the honor of being able to be a reflection of His glory. And above all, that I would come to love Him more than ever before.